Children and Emotional Abuse: Healing the Hidden Hurt

Most professionals who work with family violence or child protective services know that April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. While identification and intervention for child maltreatment has improved, an average of one million children are identified as being abused each year.

Physical and sexual assault often first come to mind when we hear of the term child abuse. However, emotional abuse is also part of the overall spectrum of child maltreatment and occurs concurrently with physical or sexual abuse. According to the American Humane Association [AHA], emotional abuse [also called psychological maltreatment] is a pattern of behavior by parents or caregivers that can seriously interfere in a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological or social development. It is not an isolated or singular incident between parent and child, but a series of interactions that “erode and corrode” psychological well-being [Garbarino & Gabarino, 1994]. Types of emotional abuse [summarized from AHA guidelines] include:

• Ignoring. Parent or caregiver is not present physically or psychologically to respond to the child. For example, a parent may not call the child by name or may be unresponsive to the child’s cries for assistance.
• Rejecting. Parent or caregiver actively declines to respond to a child’s needs, including refusing to touch the child.
• Isolating. Parent or caregiver consistently prevents the child from having normal social interactions with peers, family members and adults, confines the child, or limits physical movement.
• Exploiting or corrupting. Parent or caregiver forces or coerces the child to participate in stealing, prostitution, or other illegal activities.
• Verbally assaulting. Parent or caregiver belittles, shames, or threatens the child.
• Terrorizing. Parent or caregiver bullies the child, reinforcing an environment of fear. For example, the parent may threaten danger or harm to the child’s pet or sibling if the child does not act or behave in a certain way.
• Neglecting. Parent or caretaker does not provide access to education or to treatment for medical or psychological problems, among other necessities.

Unlike physical abuse that may leave visible scars, broken bones, or bruises, emotional abuse is often a “hidden hurt.” However, it is just as serious as battering or assault and is thought by some to be more predictive of developmental delays than severe physical abuse [Glaser, 2002]. We already know that infants who are deprived of emotional contact may become anxious children with delayed motor and cognitive abilities, may fail to thrive, or may even die from lack of appropriate human touch. When asked “which hurts more, being hit or being told you are bad,” you might be surprised that many children will say, “being told I am bad hurts more than being hit.” While physical abuse is traumatizing, children who are emotionally rejected, isolated, or terrorized feel verbal assault is worse than being beaten. A broken bone is undeniably serious, but a broken heart silently and painfully robs a child of his or her life.

While emotional abuse is difficult to detect, children affected by it do exhibit noticeable trauma reactions. Some of the signs and manifestations include destructive behavior [fire setting or animal cruelty], poor self-esteem, insecurity and anxiety, developmental delays, drug abuse, emotional withdrawal, inability to form relationships, and even suicidal thoughts. In brief, psychologically maltreated children grow up believing they are deficient and defective in some way. It is easy to understand that without intervention, these children eventually may become parents who continue the cycle of emotional abuse with their own children years later.

So what can we do to reduce the incidence of emotional abuse and its impact on children? Identifying that a child has suffered emotional maltreatment is the first step in intervention. As helping professionals, we can do this by asking appropriate questions about a family’s history and current behaviors, assessing parent-child interactions, and evaluating deficits, challenges, and resources within the family system. Most importantly, early trauma-informed intervention is key to the reduction of the affects of psychological maltreatment on children. This not only includes intensive resilience-building with a child at risk, but also addressing parents and caretakers who may need to learn relevant parenting skills and may require help in overcoming their own emotional abuse experienced during childhood.

For more information from the AHA, go to their webpage. For actual interventions and resource materials, please visit the National Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children Bookstore; Handbook of Trauma Interventions: Zero to Three, A Time for Resilience, and Raising Resilient Children in a Traumatic World are a few of the helpful resources you will find on that site.

Be well,

Cathy Malchiodi, PhD, LPCC, LPAT

References

Garbarino, J., & Garbarino, A. (1994). Emotional maltreatment of children. Chicago: National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse.

Glaser, D. (2002, June). Emotional abuse and neglect (psychological maltreatment): A conceptual framework. Child Abuse & Neglect, 26, 697-714.

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